


The Chasm Between Us

by slight_Ichatrina_obsessed_sleepyfangirl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Heavy Angst, I’m terrible at tags, Post The Last Jedi, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 09:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13051323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slight_Ichatrina_obsessed_sleepyfangirl/pseuds/slight_Ichatrina_obsessed_sleepyfangirl
Summary: Four days after the events of the battle on the planet, Crait, Rey finds herself alone in her compartment attempting to deal with the darkness.





	The Chasm Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> So, I’ve secretly been fascinated by the idea of Rey and Kylo Ren since the beginning, but feared they may be related and put my feelings about them on the back burner, but after watching the Last Jedi, all burners are on High for these two.

  
The dark was quiet; calculating; cold.

Dreams found life in the dark; plaguing; haunting; ripping and gnawing.

Peacefulness and light eluded her wide eyes as they stared straight ahead; the seconds ticking by, paying no mind to how frozen she felt; the soft light of the stars beyond her window casting haunting shadows over the ceiling of her compartment.

Sleep was a distant thought for her as she lay alone, so far from any warmth or comfort.

Comfort.

Such a foreign concept. Had she ever known true comfort? Perhaps, fleetingly; but never permanent. Even now, she knew any comfort she might take in her new friends beyond the grey walls of her compartment was only temporary. She knew all too well how quickly they could disappear.

How had her life come to this? This wasn’t what she’d prayed for, fantasized about since she could remember; to be torn so asunder by feelings as foreign as the chill on her skin.

“Rey.”

She felt the pressing tug of the force at the corners of her mind. It was gentle; alluring; drawing upon her deepest, darkest desires.

“No,” she whispered, willing him to leave her be, fists clenched in her sheets; sweat teasing her brow even as her skin prickled at the sudden chill that made her every hair stand on end.

Eyes closing in desperation, she threw her thoughts elsewhere; channeling as much focus on what she wanted to see as was possible in her vulnerable state.

Han. Leia. Luke. The Light. Peace. Compassion. Forgiveness.

She hoped such a direction would anger him, send him into a fit that would break their connection; that string that bound them together; making them one mind.

A rush of ice flooded her veins; his rage chilling her to the core.

“Rey,” his voice pressed more insistently; all gentleness from his previous tone vanished.

What hope did she have if she couldn’t escape him? How many systems lay between them now? And yet, here he was, close enough to touch.

She could practically feel the chill of his skin; the memory of his fingertips, cold, yet gentle.

Gentle.

It was odd to associate that word with the monster, Kylo Ren.

But it wasn’t Kylo Ren that made her heart quicken its beat. It wasn’t Kylo Ren that stirred feelings so deep inside her as to leave her breathless under their weight. It wasn’t Kylo Ren who had awoken a longing so consuming that it had turned her every thought towards him.

No. It was Ben Solo. The gentleness; the kindness; the longing in his eyes that tore her heart to shreds; those all belonged to Ben.

“Ben,” she whispered, as she always did, a tremble in her voice that simply would not disperse. “Please.”

The restraint it took for her to keep her eyes closed, to not search out his deep, soulful, brown orbs was utterly exhausting.

He’d been chipping away at her for days, attempting to press their connection. She’d felt the cold tendrils attempting to drag her toward him since she’d closed the door on him four days prior.

“I’m so sorry, Ben,” she cried, needing him to understand; to know why she’d left him. “I don’t want you to be alone.”

Loneliness was something she knew all too well. It crushed her under its never ceasing presence and she’d seen it shining so clearly in his eyes as the door to the Falcon had slid shut.

“I still have hope for you and the future I saw.” The quiet was like a deadly oppressor, digging into her skin and latching onto the things she’d never whispered aloud. “I don’t understand this feeling inside me. I can’t name it. I’m not even sure I can describe it.”

Her mind searched for answers as she continued, daring to voice her thoughts.

“I think...” Could she say it? “My whole life, I’ve been searching for something I couldn’t put a name to, but when you look at me...”

Her words drifted as the room fell silent. For a few heartbeats, she felt brokenness beyond measure radiating from him.

“Say it,” he demanded, his control clearly wavering.

“I’m afraid,” she whispered, feeling lost and confused. “I thought I knew what was right and wrong, but I can’t reconcile the desires in my heart.”

“Rey.” His tone was much lighter, gentler. “There’s no need for this; for fear.”

Unable to keep her resolve, she opened her eyes and pushed herself up, only to find him sitting at her side on the edge of her bed, those brown orbs she’d dreaded being consumed by boring into her.

“I can’t give you what you want,” she said, conviction lacing her voice. “It’s not in me to be as you are; to do the things you’d ask of me. I can’t-”

“I ask nothing of you,” he cut in, his dark brow furrowing. “I only desire that you stand at my side.”

“You ask me to condone the things you would do,” she returned with traces of anger in her voice. “You ask that I be a puppet for you to push and pull as you wish!”

Body no longer chilled, but heated with resolve, she pushed at his chest. “Leave me be.”

It happened so fast, she barely had time to register him moving to counteract her; his movements quick and agile, like that of a predator capturing its prey.

“Stop,” he demanded, his fingers winding around her wrists as she struggled, holding them above her head as he leaned over her; his body pressing her firmly into the bed obliterating any hope she might have had of dislodging him.

It was the closest she’d ever been to being terrified of him. Yes, he’d frightened her during battle, but this was different. It was tinged with something unfamiliar and dangerous; something she wasn’t sure she could handle.

His eyes were boring into her again as he panted, the warmth of his breath heating her cheeks.

“Ben,” she whispered, afraid to move an inch. “Please.”

The scar running the length of his face drew her gaze as she could no longer keep up with the intensity in his brown orbs. Or was it possessiveness?

“Puppets, possessions,” he finally whispered, not cold as she’d expected, but gentle; an odd contradiction to the way he was restraining her. “Such thoughts have never crossed my mind.”

Out of pure instinct, her eyes came to his, drawn to him as they always were. “I don’t believe you.”

“Of course, you do,” he pressed, taking one hand from her wrist and bringing it to her cheek, gently trailing his digits along her skin. “You know the truth of my words. You’re simply afraid to give in to your desires; to those longings in your heart.”

“Ben,” she cried, nearly crumbling under the weight of how he was touching her, like she was some sort of treasure he’d discovered and would never relinquish.

The way his fingers trailed over her heated flesh, his eyes clearly mesmerized, left her breathless.

“I’d give you every world, every star system, every minute longing you’ve ever even thought to dream.” She swore she could feel his heart hammering in his chest. “You’d be my equal in every way, my confidant, my counselor. The things I would do for you...”

Swallowing against the lump lodged in her throat, she shook her head. “I only desire one thing of you and you know what it is. This path isn’t one on which I can follow you.”

“That’s a lie,” he warned, his voice deepening as his eyes darkened. “You want what I’ve offered. I see it in your dreams as you attempt to push me from your mind. I see the desire there, Rey. Stop trying to deny it.”

“A desire isn’t something that should always be fulfilled, Ben.” Desperation latched onto her as she lifted her own free hand to his neck, taking hold of him and praying he’d not pull from her. “Please, Ben, don’t abandon me.”

Conflict arose in his eyes as he stared into hers. He was so close. That danger she’d felt earlier was still present, but she considered it in a different light now. Perhaps, there was a powerful weapon there to be used. The name she’d been searching for earlier was clear now and she feared she wouldn’t be able to control it.

Her resolve was gone, replaced with desperation and desire to keep him here with her.

She knew nothing of what she was doing, relying on pure instinct to propel her forward, allowing her trembling lips to brush his.

It was like an electric surge flew from her head to her toes, taking her from one feeling to the next and leaving her mind a jumbled mess.

It was clear he was just as lost as her for what to do. His body tensed against hers for the longest heartbeats she’d ever experienced before he finally responded to her hesitant kiss. He tasted like cinnamon and smelled of bacta.

However, unlike her, who remained lost for what came next, he seemed to have an idea as he slithered his hand beneath her neck and into her hair, pulling her harder against him as he deepened their connection.

The feelings that overtook her were unexpected and terrifying. Her control was slipping farther away with every moment that passed. Was this what she’d wanted?

“Rey,” he whispered, his lips releasing hers and descending along her neck. “My Rey.”

As his hands took on a life of their own, one tugging at her hair and the other sliding under her thigh to pull her body around his, she began to panic.

“Ben, wait,” she plead, only to trail off as a new feeling coursed though her, one she had no name for, but knew would consume her if she didn’t stop him soon. Her very core was igniting as he swiveled his hips between her legs, his mouth never ceasing its onslaught against her neck.

Her fingers twisted in the back of his shirt, but she wasn’t sure if she was attempting to push him away or pull him closer.

“Ben, please...” she moaned, turning her face toward his. “Look at me.”

As his dark orbs found hers, his movements ceased as they breathed each other in.

“Why do you need more than this?” Her hand tenderly cupped his cheek. “Am I not enough?”

The vulnerability she felt was crushing her. His answer would surely either lift her amongst the stars or send her spiraling into nothingness.

“You’re not nothing,” he whispered, repeating what he’d said to her the night he’d all but begged her to join him. “Not to me.”

He took her face between his hands and peered deep into her eyes, his voice hardening. “I destroyed my Master for you. I would destroy worlds for you; for this all consuming feeling with which you’ve taken hold of me.”

Unable to gather her thoughts for a response, she opened and closed her mouth with no sound.

“Let go of doubt, Rey,” he went on, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. “Obliterate the chasm between us and let go of responsibility to people who would have left you in that junkyard before recognizing the potential you posed.”

His lips brushed hers, gently; enticingly.

“Let go of everything but this.”

Heart hammering, she had no protest when he resumed his assault against her mouth, his kiss desperate and searching.

There was so much flitting through her mind that she found herself unable to formulate complete thoughts. All she could see, smell, hear, taste, and feel was Ben.

 _Her_ Ben.

Then, without warning, he was gone.

“Rey?”

Finn’s voice broke through the haze of confusion assaulting her, causing her to jerk her head to the side to find him standing in the doorway of her compartment.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his dark eyes searching her as his brow furrowed. “Was it a nightmare?”

Gathering her wits about her as best she could, she pushed herself up and forced a smile in her friend’s direction.

“I’m not sure,” she whispered, choking on her words as she realized just how true they were. “But I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” he pressed, taking a step forward. “You look flushed.”

Flushed and confused and so many other things.

“I just need a moment to collect myself and I’ll join you.”

With a moment’s more hesitation, Finn nodded and backed out of the room. “Alright.”

When the door slid closed behind him, she let go of the breath she’d been holding and finally began trying to regain a regular heartbeat.

With a glance over her shoulder, she searched the bed for any sign that she wasn’t losing her mind. It was then that she tasted the lingering cinnamon on her tongue.

Bringing her fingers to her lips, she released a small sob at the tingle still on them.

“Ben?” she whispered to the room, waiting with staggering breaths for a response.

When none came, she brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, closing in on herself like a small child.

A child. That’s what she was. A child playing at war and falling deeper into the mess upon which she’d stumbled.

“I need help,” she whispered to the darkness, feeling more alone that she had before Ben appeared. “Please, help me.”


End file.
